Sunday, 30 June 2013

A Summer Job

It's my summer holiday. It's two months long and there's a lot that I want to do. But, I can't do anything without money. I'm not implying that I have absolutely no cash; I have around £80 on me. It's not a lot of money when you think about it though. For my summer projects, I'm going to need around £15 on just fabric and any textile product needs more than just fabric. To go to the cinema and hang out with friends, I'll need about £20. I also need money for the bus so I can actually get around and more money for food and other necessities.
At this point, you're probably wondering why I don't just ask for money from my parents. I don't like doing that. I like being independent and I want to show them that I can survive on my own and that I know how to make responsible choices since the money that I have is solely from babysitting and pocket money from my dad.

Anyway, I'd like a bit more extra cash and I know that there are a few summer jobs going around. It just seems like those jobs are anywhere but here and, when I actually do find a job that I like, the employers want someone with previous experience or qualifications which I don't have. This doesn't mean that I haven't found any jobs at all. I have. They're jobs that I would not have applied for if it wasn't the summer but I'll do anything to make extra money. They're both restaurant jobs which I wanted to avoid because I really wanted to work in a store. But, like I said, it's only for the summer. I applied at McDonald's (don't make any comments) and I actually don't regret doing it. I know that having a job there gives you the stereotype of someone who doesn't have any dreams or goals and, sometimes, people laugh at you. But, when you think about it, so many people love McDonald's and without the workers there, you wouldn't be able to enjoy a Big Mac or a McFlurry when you want to so I think it's time that they get some appreciation.

If I could, I'd go outside and look for a job on foot and I'd probably find more that are suited for me. However, since I'm always stuck indoors babysitting, I'm very reliant on the internet. Hopefully, I do land a job soon and, right now, I don't mind if it's in a shop or a restaurant. I'll still provide service with a smile. :-)

Saturday, 29 June 2013


Starting from today, I have absolutely no school until September. I can do what I want (most of the time) and I have more time to myself. But, I still have summer homework...

When you have freedom like this, it's really easy to just think about sleeping all day and achieving absolutely nothing. I can very easily decide not to focus on any of my plans for the summer and just stay in bed for the whole summer. I know this sounds like a very attractive thing to do for most people since most of us are stressed from work and school, but I'm making the choice of actually doing something. Crazy, I know.

From the induction days I had this week, I realized that what you choose to do now really does have an impact on your future. You have to make sure that you've picked the right thing to do - with school, you have to make sure that being in a college is better for you in comparison to sixth form. At work, you have to make sure that you're in a place where you want to work. Also, you have to choose whether or not to accept things like promotions - especially if this means moving away from your loved ones. With all of these things, there's always an easy option and a more difficult option. Sometimes, the easy option is better and there's no denying that. But, there are times where you have to seriously consider the pros and cons with both choices. Is a job worth being away from everyone? Are you in college because you have more free time or because the subject you're doing will actually benefit you?

Also, everyone's made bad choices. That's just a part of life and there's no way of avoiding it. It could be something silly like deciding to climb a tree and then realizing you can't get back down or being in a relationship for the wrong reasons. Whatever that bad choice was, it did have an impact on your life. So many people rush through things and make decisions without thinking about it. Most of our choices nowadays are influenced are other people. In our minds, we always think about how other people will see us after we make certain choices. Will we be viewed as selfish or selfless?

I make choices that make me happy and ones that I'm comfortable with. To be honest, most of them don't really have a positive impact on me. For example, the choice to eat or to exercise during my free time is usually the one I have to choose between each day and, most of the time, food wins.

The point of this is that it doesn't matter how big or small the choices you make in life are - they're unavoidable and you have to face the fact that you will make bad decisions. Your future depends on what you do now and being lazy and always choosing the easy option will get you nowhere. 

Friday, 28 June 2013

The Induction Days - Day 2

So, despite the terribly grey weather, today was actually a lot better than yesterday's induction day. To start with, I actually did work for both of the lessons that I had. There wasn't any writing since I did Product Design and Art - only drawing - and I loved every single minute of it. I got the chance to use oil pastels which I haven't done in a long time; I always avoided them for some reason because I find them difficult to work it.

Anyway, here's a summary of today:

Social Enterprise
This wasn't a lesson - we just looked around at "stalls" set up in the library which promoted things that we could do outside of the school curriculum to support and enrich us during sixth form. These courses could also possibly help us to gain more UCAS points for university.
I'm not going to lie and say that it was really interesting because it really wasn't. Most of the things that were there were things that I didn't really like but I did manage to find three things that I could do when I start in September:

  1. Language Leaders - Since I'm not doing Italian for sixth form, I thought I could do something on the side with it. This course allows people to go to primary schools and work with the foreign language teachers to teach and assist lessons. I found this useful since I'm planning on working with fashion and retail which is becoming more and more worldwide.
  2. Extended Project - I want to do this one because the project is completely controlled by you - the topic, the deadlines, the planning and the amount of work itself. It can be research-based or a practical project (which is what I want to do). I'm planning on making either a dress inspired by the Victorian era or a whole outfit inspired by Vivienne Westwood.
  3. Volunteering - I already do volunteering in a charity shop so having the option to go and work some extra hours during the week is a nice offer to have. 
These courses are done when I'm not in lessons and I like having the opportunity to do something that's worth doing instead of just sitting on the sofa all day doing nothing. The Extended Project will give me something to do at home and Language Leaders gives me something to do during my free periods at school and I'll still have time for my friends.

Product Design
There were some new people in this class but I didn't mind since I was with most of my friends. The project we're doing this year is to design a baseball hat, craft knife or peg and they had to be influenced by nature. This meant that I got more summer homework...

My friends all chose to design a craft knife but, being the fashion and textile lover that I am, I chose to design a baseball hat so that meant I had to separate from them. The people I sat with were very quiet and two of them moved away halfway through the lesson because they found the baseball hat too difficult to work with. I felt alone and right in my line of sight was my friends all sat together which didn't really help. 

The lesson itself was alright. I spent the lesson designing and I now have four quite quircky drawings of baseball hats.

This lesson started with a task of ordering a number of portraits by the dates they were painted. I have very little knowledge of artists and the one painting that I could recognize was the portrait of Van Gogh. However, since we were working in groups, we were able to share our knowledge of art and we actually did pretty well. We got a few paintings in the wrong place but so did everyone else.

The next task was to pick two of the paintings and draw one in the style of the other. I chose the portrait of Van Gogh and another portrait by Modigliani (I don't know who that is; they're name was written on the corner of the painting). Because there wasn't a lot of time to create a piece by paint, I decided to use oil pastels. For a rushed piece of work, it turned out better than I thought it would. Unfortunately, I'm not going to post a picture of it since it does look like something a five year old could pull off and it's already in my cabinet with the rest of my stuff. I am too lazy to get it back out again.

I have no school until September!!

Thursday, 27 June 2013

The Induction Days - Day 1

Today was induction day for sixth form at my school. It was quite eventful but it didn't really give me a taste of what sitxh form is like. The lessons felt rushed and I feel like I achieved very little today.

Morning Assembly
The day started with the whole of the year piling into the theatre to meet our new head of year and our not so new pastoral helper - when it was announced that it was the same person as last year, the whole room just moaned and whined because we do not like her at all. I do feel some sympathy for her because this happened right in front of her and, although she smiled at us as this happened, I could tell she was hurt inside.

This assembly also gave us a chance to look around and see the new people that have come from other schools. There weren't many of them; most of them were sat in the row in front of me.

Tutorial and Team Building Class
I knew most of the people in Tutorial but the class itself just seemed to last forever. We were we given a form tutor that was as exciting as a brick and he just talked and talked and talked. He looked like his face was melting and whilst he was talking, saliva was building up at the sides of his lips. I was not paying attention to anything he was saying.
But, the activity we were given was actually pretty good - we had to recreate or explore the story of Little Red Riding Hood. The group I was in was kind of into it but that died down quickly. If we had a more exciting form tutor, I'm pretty sure that everyone would have actually been involved in the lesson.

Team Building class was also pretty useless. We did a bunch of exercises that just confused me. I didn't understand what the point of it was or why we were doing it. I did, however, find out that I'm like a bee - I can work by myself and as part of a team and I'm good at building and making things.

This was my first real lesson of the day. We didn't have a seating plan so I could sit next to a friend.

The whole lesson was focused on algebra and quadratics since you have to be really good at algebra in order to survive the first year of A-level Maths. We managed the work quite well and finished before everyone else. We made silly mistakes like putting a "plus" sign down instead of a "minus" but overall we did alright. He argues that I did all of the work but I didn't.
Also, we got summer homework for maths. A whole booklet of algebra questions to fill in. Yay...

English Literature and Language
Now, I feel like I actually did some work that was worth doing in this class. It was the last lesson of the day and I was really glad about it. Again, we had no seating plan so I could sit with a friend. This class was probably the smallest one I've ever been in; there was only around 20 people in it.

The focus of the class was spoken language but we got to do a bit of creative writing as well which I love doing. I found that bit extremely easy. We also had discussions on language itself and the effects that the tone of voice and the context have on the case study.
This felt like a real lesson to me and I really feel that I can imagine how English lessons would go in September.

Overall, I feel like I didn't really enjoy myself during the lessons. On the other hand, during breaks and lunch, it was fun. I was with my friends and, because I wasn't wearing school uniform, I didn't feel so choked up by a tie. I was also able to wear jewellery and eyeliner without having the fear of getting told off for it. It definitely made me feel more relaxed.

Wednesday, 26 June 2013

A Barbecue

On Tuesday, 25th June, the UK was blessed with a very sunny day (and good timing too). I had a barbecue with my friends and we were so glad that the weather was nice for the whole day.

I woke up extremely early just so I could clean up around the house and prepare the barbecue. Since my dad wasn't going to hang around as he had work, he fired up the barbecue around 10am and no one was going to arrive until 12pm so it was really hard to make sure the fire was still going and we were running out of coal. Luckily, just before he left, he bought some more.

My friends arrived one after the other and didn't take long for us to get the barbecue going. I let one of my friends take over since there was a high chance I'd just burn everything until all of the food was just a pile of ash. We had kebabs, burgers and sausages; the kebabs were the first things to go - as soon as one was done, it would be taken by someone and devoured really quickly. I think it's safe to say that they were delicious! We also had other food like cupcakes, crisps, jammy dodgers, sandwiches and spaghetti (which no one ate). We also had a lot of J2O. My mum had to go out and buy some more because there wasn't enough! 

Also, since our back garden has a playhouse and slide and we have a load of Nerf guns in the conservatory, we let our inner children out; there was a Nerf war with only 5 bullets and everyone went down the slide. Knowing us, we knew something bad was bound to happen and out of all things it was this - everyone got their bum stuck in the slide at one some point in the day but, fortunately, not all at once (that would have been weird). The slide was made for 3 year-olds and we're 16...
There was also ice and water going down people's shirts and a lot of screaming. Being the teens that we are, we played "21 Dares" which led to some weird dares being performed - I had to lick mayonnaise from someone's knee.

The barbecue itself went quite well. We didn't burn anything although, we did drop 3 burgers into the coal under the grill and my mum accidentally dropped 4 on the floor. I also got ash on some of the sausages whilst trying to put the flames out - I poured some water into the coal and a giant ash cloud formed like a small volcano top. It blinded us and I was crying whilst attempting to fan it out of the way.

The only thing that would have made the barbecue even better is if my boyfriend was there but he forgot and claimed no one told him about it...

After the barbecue, I was left with one person - Carys ( - she was sleeping over. We were both tired from the barbecue and, when we got back inside the house, all we did was watch TV and eat. Once everyone else got to bed and we were the only two awake, we had facials like what any other girl does at sleepovers. I had a red raspberry mask and it looked like my face had been ripped off. It was so hard not to laugh or smile because we both just looked so ridiculous. After that, we watched movies until we went to sleep - I managed to get through watching "21 Jump Street", "Fired Up" and "The Parent Trap" but I could only manage a few minutes of watching "Scary Movie 2" before I passed out. I don't know what time Carys fell asleep but we both woke up around 6am to move around a bit since we were asleep in an awkward position - she was sitting in the sofa corner and I was lying on her arm.

The whole of yesterday made me feel so relaxed and like a teenager. It's been a long time since I've had a  friend over for a sleepover and I don't really get a lot of time with friends. Also, I like that we didn't have to rely on alcohol to have a good time.

One more thing - Carys snores.

Sunday, 23 June 2013

I'm Different

So, being a full Filipino, there's a lot of things that people expect me to do or be good at. The main things that come up are singing, dancing, the ability to play the piano and maths. There's also other things that people think I do like being in a youth group or spending my life studying. There's so many stereotypes for Asian people in general and I like how we've embraced those instead of becoming offended. However, I just don't like that people assume I can do something because of my race.

I'm not blind to the fact that some places in the world, your future is chosen and forced upon you. But, you end up brilliant at it. Countries like Russia have awesome ballet dancers but that doesn't mean that everyone there can gracefully twirl and jump when they wish. Likewise, in China, they have some brilliant, world-class gymnasts but that doesn't mean all Chinese people can bend like rubber. I am proud of my skills and my talents and, yes, I do fit into the stereotypes of a typical Filipino but that's not all that there is with me. I like being myself and I like being different.

My parents don't completely agree with all of my life choices; the main one being the career I'm going after but that will never stop me. There are a lot of things that I probably wouldn't be doing if I was still being raised in Philippines but times have changed. I don't like being branded as "westernized" by the people I know back home - it hurts to think I'm now an outsider. If I was still in Philippines there's a chance that I'd be:

  • a hardcore Catholic
  • boyfriend-less
  • only friends with people from school
  • wearing clothes that are simple - t-shirts, jeans, shorts (nothing from places like TopShop and River Island)
  • spending more time reading and learning an instrument
  • spending little to no time outside of the house

But, like I said, I'm different. I am not religious; I have an amazing boyfriend; I've met people on holidays and days out and I still talk to them; I wear short shorts and cropped shirts that my parents don't always agree with; I know the basics on a piano but that's about it; I don't sing or dance; I spend more time with friends than I do at home. 

Say what you like but I'm a proud Filipino even if I don't follow the same road as the rest of the Filipinos of my generation. I don't want to be a doctor, a lawyer or a teacher. I want to be a designer! An artist! I don't want to be a sheep following the herd but at the same time, I'm not trying to be someone else. I'm just being me.

Saturday, 22 June 2013

My Bike

Yesterday, my illness (I'm still not completely sure what I have) was controllable and I was able to do some work on my bike. This was something that I hadn't planned but my dad seemed to think it was a good idea and bought new parts for it anyway so I didn't really have a choice. His bike is already nearly done and it already looks as good as new.

My bike looks like a car ran over it. Twice. It's dirty, the body is damaged and rusty, and the tires had absolutely no air in them. I haven't touched it in nearly 3 years - it's just been lying in our bike shed - but the weather's getting warmer and I'd rather bike to work instead of taking the bus. It's cheaper and I'll get some fresh air. Lucky for me, there's a bike rack just outside of the charity shop I work in. Anyway, my bike is near to dying but with some changes and repairs, it will be as good as new just like my dad's. I've already cleaned it so it looks a lot better without all the dust and mud on it. I've checked and pumped the tires and changed the brakes. I should mention that my dad did help me with this since I've never repaired a bike before. All that I (or we) need to do now is to change the pedals and give the frame a new coat of paint; I'm considering a nice dark purple or violet coat with some black decals along the back but we're probably just going to paint it white. One thing's for sure though - it will not fall apart!

You're probably wondering why I bothered to keep a bike like that for three years. We've never thrown away any of our bikes and I think we were right to do that. I'm finally back in the mood to ride it and instead of spending over a hundred pounds for a new one, all I need to do is fix the one I have. It's cheaper and, honestly, fun. I'm still ill but this hasn't stopped me from doing anything. Just like my bike, my body's being repaired and fixed so I can get back to being healthy. Unfortunately, my bike can't do this on it's own like I can and it would be a real shame if I just threw it out. I'm pretty convinced it has feelings so I'm not going to do that to it. It's probably been really bored in the shed since everyone else in my family still use their bikes. Mine's just there waiting to be taken on another adventure.

P.S I forgot to take a picture of it before all of the work but I will take one once it's finished. If you want to know what it looks like - rusty handlebars, purple handles, it has a light pink and purple frame, the decals are all torn off, and the seat is scratched slightly with the word "Sabre" on the side.

Thursday, 20 June 2013

An Original Song

Since Tuesday night, I've been bed-ridden with a really bad headache, fever, cough and sore throat. How I ended up with it, I don't know, but i do know that I was fine during the morning when I was in the charity shop. It's likely that stress from the exams and working as well led me to become really ill but I'm slightly better now - the headache is manageable and I can walk around the house without feeling dizzy. Being ill really wasn't fun. I could feel the heat emitting from my body during the night and I felt like a gigantic snowball in the morning.

I did, however, get creative. I didn't like being bored in bed so I made up a song whilst I was unable to move. This is probably the most random thing to ever come out of my mind but, to be honest, it was really entertaining. So, without further ado, here is the "Fever Song" from yours truly:

I've been on this sofa since about 10 o'clock
Just lying here like an inanimate rock
One minute I'm hot, the next I'm cold
Even though everyone's here, I feel so alone

I've got a cough, I've got a fever
I'm just glad it's not from the Bieber
I've got a cough, I've got a fever
I'm just glad it's not from the Bieber

I feel like I'm on the verge of dying
My headache's so bad I feel like crying
I don't feel better, I'm just getting worse
I think it's time for someone to get me a hearse

I've got a cough, I've got a fever
I'm just glad it's not from the Bieber
I've got a cough, I've got a fever
I'm just glad it's not from the Bieber

It's time for me now to put on a really big frown
This sofa's getting uncomfortable - I still need to lie down
I have to go upstairs and into bed
I really really wish I just stayed there instead

I've got a cough, I've got a fever
I'm just glad it's not from the Bieber
I've got a cough, I've got a fever
I'm just glad it's not from the Bieber

This was probably the only form of entertainment I had for the last two days. Watching TV made me dizzy, I couldn't stay on my phone for a long time and listening to music just hurt my ears. But, singing this in my head was fine and didn't cause me any harm.

Also, I'm sorry if I offended any Justin Bieber fans. 

Monday, 17 June 2013

Father's Day 2013

Yesterday was Father's Day (obviously) and my dad spent it sleeping. Unfortunately, he had a fever and was feeling really bad so we let him sleep on the sofa all day. He woke up for dinner then fell right back to sleep straight after. I think the dinner made him feel better because right at this moment, he's watching action and thriller films on Netflix and I doubt this will end anytime soon - it looks like he has control of the TV for the whole day.

I love spending time with my dad. There are times when we become inseparable and act like best friends - we have Nerf gun fights around the house and wars on the Xbox. We also had a snowball fight in the car park outside of the house after arriving home from watching Milton Jones. This is how I feel father-daughter time should be spent; doing something that's fun and something that both of you want to do. But there are times in my life when my dad and I don't completely get along. I don't really like to focus on these little moments since they don't last long and every teenager has these times with their parents.

However, I also want to acknowledge those people that didn't have their dads with them yesterday. This may have been because you have separated parents or because of something bigger like your dad being a member of the army. Whatever the reason, I'm sure that they wished they were with you too. It's  hard for me to feel what those people do because I have always had my dad with me. When he wasn't with me because he moved to England, I was still quite young and I can't really remember how I felt on Father's Day without him. I do know that, when he was reunited with us when we moved here, I felt like hugging him and not letting go. I remember the first day he went to work with us in our old flat in England - we had only been with him for two days and I was still jet-lagged. I never really considered the fact that he wasn't going to be with us the whole day for every single day. So, I sat on the window sill and cried for the whole day. This was ten years ago but this is one of the memories I have from the flat that's still quite vivid.

For those that didn't have their dads with them, I hope you get the chance next year and I'm sure that his thoughts for the whole day were about you. For the ones with dads that have passed away, treasure the memories you have with him. I know there's no way of bringing him back but keep him alive in your mind.

Saturday, 15 June 2013

Acceptance: Homosexuality

"Russia Passes Bill Making It Illegal To Tell Kids Gay People Exist"

This headline caught my eye the other day and really just irritated me along with the Westboro Baptist Church in America. All of this "controversy" with homosexuality is just ridiculous. To start with, this "controversy" was caused by our own ignorance and our view of what "normal" is. I don't have anything against people like this but it does make me unhappy to see the benefits of homosexuality being overlooked and I don't see the difference between two men or two women holding hands against a man and a woman holding hands. Love is love and it shouldn't be controlled.

Firstly, I think that the biggest benefit of homosexual relationships is that the children that they raise and nurture are actually ones that they've chosen to care for. There's so many kids that are unwanted and given up and couples that take them in are most likely to be homosexual. Just face it. People say that kids with homosexual parents will get bullied. But, has anyone ever considered why? Kids learn from their parents and the only reason why these kids will get bullied is if parents tell their children that homosexuality is wrong or weird which it isn't. If children are better educated and taught correctly, future generations with be far less ignorant in comparison to us now - there's no doubt about it. All that needs to happen is to accept that society has moved on. There was a time where women could not wear things like shorts or jeans without being judged but now it's widely accepted so there should be no reason why this can't be accepted either.

I sometimes consider the earth as a huge theocratic society. Religion has had a major impact on what can and can't happen. People fight for their rights and if we're going to live in democracy, we should be able to decide on things with guidance from the people and not religious leaders. I actually like the new pope - he wants to help the poor and shows it and accepts that atheists exist. We shouldn't be forced into beliefs and laws that the majority obviously go against. I know that gay marriage is slowly becoming accepted and I like that; I just wish it happened sooner. 

I'm only a teenager yet I feel like I have the mind of an adult. I know what I am (sexually) but some people don't. Telling someone who is confused what is "wrong" and what is "right" is a ridiculous thing to do. It would make them feel ashamed and lead to self-hate. When that happens, you can't predict what they're going to do next. The worst thing for me is self-harming - not suicide. That would end the pain but self-harming just prolongs it which is worse. Do you want to be the cause of that?

Friday, 14 June 2013

Not For Me

We all have things that we like and don't like about people - they're different for each of us. Sometimes, our "turn-off" about someone could be something that another person actually really likes about people. I thought I would use today's blog post to tell you about my "turn-offs" with people. Some of them are silly but that's just me.

  1. Volume - I am a loud person sometimes and my friends are quite loud when they want to be too. However, I can't stand it when someone is just so astonishingly noisy. I prefer quiet times to the loud ones which is why I like going for walks and being in my room rather than downstairs with my siblings. There are moments where being loud is acceptable like when you're in a theme park, fairground or concert. I also tend to play my music quite loudly wherever I am but you can't play metal or rock songs quietly! Also, it's not just the volume of people's voices that annoy me but they're movements as well. People who wear chains or shuffle their feet when walking are people that I'd rather stay away from as well as people that shout across roads and buildings to get the attention of people. It makes me feel embarrassed to be with them. I don't want another 20 pairs of eyes looking at me. If I see someone that's quite far away but close enough to get to, I will run to them.
  2. Make up - I am friends with people that wear little to no make up. If they do wear make up, they know how to wear it so that it's not overdone. I like using make up for fun and to kill time but I never leave the house with nothing more than eyeliner and lipgloss on my face. I don't like seeing people who have a face that's only one shade of colour because of foundation. If you look in the mirror, you'll see that your face is a subtle blend of different tones - some people also have freckles that I find cute and I don't understand why you don't embrace those. Seeing people with a face that's too pale or too dark with cartoon-like eyebrows just makes me cringe.
  3. Looks over personality - people that choose friends through their looks and not their personality are people that I will not talk to. Ever. 
  4. Show offs - okay, I have to admit, I can be a show off - especially in school. Being above average academically is something that I am quite proud of and sometimes I feel that it's the only thing I have over other people. I don't mind when someone shows off their skills or talents because it's something to feel good about and it makes you stand out. However, taking it too far is what gets me. When I see someone dancing at school or singing in assembly, it's nice. I'd never be able to do that. But, if I get home and find 10 videos of the same person singing and then reposting them the next day for more people to see, I will get annoyed. I know that sites like Facebook and Twitter have encouraged people to seek for attention but you're not going to get it from me.

Thursday, 13 June 2013


There are points in my life when I've realize something that I never thought was possible. I like those moments because they force me to take a good look at my life and make some serious changes if I really have to.

The most recent realization I've had was probably at Pizza Hut earlier. I'm known for eating quite small amounts of food at a time but today I managed to have 6 slices of pizza and have absolutely no regrets. Usually, I stop after 3 pieces because I just don't have any space left in my stomach after that. If I'm really hungry or if I'm with friends, I try and make myself have 4. I don't know why, I just do. I don't know if it was because we were having the pizza buffet or because I missed breakfast but I know for sure that one any other day of the week, the amount I ate would have been impossible for me to handle. I'm still trying to lose a bit of weight and to tone up for prom but I'm pretty sure eating 6 slices of pizza isn't going to help.

Also, I realized today that my friends are weirder and crazier than I thought. But, I can also depend on them when I need to because I know they'll be times when they need my help. About 5 of them walked with me today on the way home and it was probably the most fun I've had in a while. We decided to walk to a bus stop about 5 minutes away from our normal one since we all got on buses at different places but they all led to that specific one. There was running, falling over, piggy-backing and a lot of laughs. I feel sorry for Carys ( since she missed it all; she was with us on the way but then had to make a different turn to get to her bus stop. I don't think I've ever met a group of people that got along so well - I've been in quite a few friendship groups. I never really knew where I fitted in before Year 9. I guess we formed our little group through break ups and separations from other groups. When you think about it, it's the weirdest way to make friends but it happened to us. Luck? Fate? I don't know. What I do know is that they're the best people for me and I would never exchange them for anything. Not even for more pizza.

Wednesday, 12 June 2013

Tech Take Over

I do enjoy the sun and if you've been with me from the start of this blog, you'd know that I love having long walks outside when it's warm. However, lately the weather's been a bit gloomy which has encouraged me to stay indoors where it's more cosy and safe. This had more negative effects than positive for me.

The biggest effect on me is probably through social interaction. I feel like the internet and my Xbox has won the battle against going outside. As soon as I wake up, I check my phone for texts, Facebook messages and now Tweets. I'm sure I'm not the only one but I do miss being outdoors. The weather is slowly getting colder but that's Britain for you. Whenever I have time to myself, I'm on my laptop or playing games which kind of helps me with one of my targets for this summer - to finish "Gundam: Dynasty Warriors" on my Xbox. I still haven't made any progress with my other goals (my sewing machine is still in the cupboard) but the end of summer is still a long way away and I still have 3 exams to go.

I guess with the current times, people are more inclined to be indoors and surfing the internet. There's barely any people outside. I sometimes think to myself that all hope is lost when I see people in restaurants or in shopping centres with friends yet are on their phones. If you're going to be with those people, don't talk to other people. Simple as that.I also see kids outside playing and that's great to see but as soon as their phone is whipped out of their pockets, they're gone. The playing stops and the texting starts.  But, I do know that we've brought this on ourselves. There are so many advertisements for the latest iPhone, Windows Phone, Xbox, Playstation etc and we give in to them. I remember the days where Lego and Barbies were the most important things to me. They allowed me to be creative and make planes from a pile of colourful bricks (although they weren't that great) and be a princess through a plastic doll. Nowadays, my little sister entertains herself with Sesame Street on Youtube and has no love for her toys. Yes, she's learning but she's also not being interractive which leads to her running away from people she doesn't know. She does talk to my friends when I'm on Skype with them which is cute but slightly worrying.

We are the tech generation and we should embrace it. We know how to work a computer better than our parents and grandparents. But, we shouldn't take it too far. We're making things awkward between ourselves and other people. Have you ever been in that situation where you can talk to anyone for hours over Skype or Facebook but as soon as you see them in person it's just pure silence between you? It's not nice and it's really hard to find a way out of it.

We're turning into robots!

Tuesday, 11 June 2013

The Little Things

Have you ever had those times where you see or hear something good, bad or weird? Or experience something that changes your view of life? Those little moments that make everything the way they are. We don't really see and notice how small things can have such a big effect on what happens in the future.

I'm going to use teachers as an example for this:

Today, I was one of the first people out of the Italian exam since I only had to do one of the two papers. This meant that I had to wait about 30 minutes for my friends and my boyfriend to leave so that I could walk to the bus stop with them; I don't like walking alone. As I sat on one of the fences near the school's car park I noticed things that I probably wouldn't have noticed before. One of the biggest surprises would have to be the amount of people that went home early because of injury or illness. I always thought that only one or two people got sent home each day but this was near 30 students. Then again, there are over a thousand students in the school so I guess this made sense. Also, I never thought the teachers would be friends with other teachers. I understand that they're friendly to each other because they're all in the same place and I know that few are married to each other but I never realized that they go on walks outside of school during lunch times. I even heard my head of year say "like" more than once in a sentence and was talking about her boyfriend which got me thinking - when she's not teaching, does her brain work like a typical teenage girl's? Do all teachers become immature like us sometimes? I get that they have to look professional and neat but under those clothes there are tattoos and piercings.

We never see these things and yet they're there. They shape the personality of the person and gives us a closer look at what they're really like. These little things can have so many implications. Things like actions and fashion choices really do show a lot if they're noticed and most of the time they're not. We're missing out on so much!

Monday, 10 June 2013


While I was babysitting my sister earlier, I realized that I am a grown up. All my sister wanted to do was pop bubbles and drink juice and there I was next to her stressed out and revising for my exams: Science, Italian and Maths. It got me thinking about times when I really didn't care about anything and just did what made me happy. Back when I didn't wake up ten minutes early to straighten my hair and put on some eyeliner. All I did was let my hair be its wavy, barely controllable self and let my face be my face.

We're all growing up (some people at a later stage than others) and that leads us to forget about how simple life is. Everything in life is like a bubble. Remember the times when bubbles popped in your eyes and made you cry? That pain was emotional as well as physical. We feel like the bubble hurt us and didn't like us and, if you were weird like me, thought that the bubbles were little soap minions attempting to take over the world - the bubbles that I had in Philippines and those that I made when I was younger were pretty strong and would just rest on the floor so I was convinced they were evil. Anyway, those bubbles get replaced as we get older. They turn into relationships, work, family. Instead of letting the bubbles float where they want to, we try to control their paths which leads to them eventually popping. As kids, we loved it when they popped but always wanted more bubbles. We knew that they would get in our eyes and sting them so much that they would turn bloodshot. But, we weren't afraid. So, why are we now?

They're just bubbles.

Saturday, 8 June 2013

Strange Things

Most people on this earth never really stop to see what's going on around them and it's a real shame that this happens. A great example of this was during work today.

In the charity shop, we have a new clothing rack full of dresses and there was a man who was more than eager to try them on. Why? He was preparing himself for a stag night. He was putting the dresses against his front to see what they would look like and it amazed me how people could walk by this and not notice. They were all going about their business and only about 3 people gave him a funny look. Now, seeing what he doing, I think he expected some eyes going his way and looking confused. I don't know if this is because people have seen weirder and funnier things or they're hardcore followers of the "Mind your own business" rule and, trust me, most people aren't. Now, since the shop didn't have a changing room, he tried on the top of the outfit he chose in the staff room. He looked ridiculous and he knew it; everyone knew it. Of course, we laughed and one of the other volunteers saluted him for his bravery.

Another strange thing that happened today was that a man, with long hair but going bald at the top of his head, was walking around the high street in a skirt. Not a kilt, a skirt. He had some weird looks on his but I liked that he expressed his individuality. I'm guessing he knew as well that he would get some weird stares because I've seen that man before and he usually wears trousers and a shirt when he visits the store. Again, it surprised me that only a few people seemed to notice and I felt really awkward being the only one who managed to see it.

I'm pretty sure I've missed some things as well today since the shop was short on staff so I was on my feet the whole morning. I even went out to buy a bacon roll from Greggs for my boss because she was so busy and was unable to do it herself. It was an errand I never thought I'd have to do. It also made me realize that a lot of work goes into managing something as small as a charity shop. I had to fill a whole rack with dresses, making sure the hangers faced the correct was and take out all of the clothes that were outdated to make space for the new clothes which I had to bring out as well. Normally, there would be about three of us to do each one of those tasks separately. I was alone in this and my arms feel like they've just done a complete workout. I am pretty weak though.

Wednesday, 5 June 2013

Falling and Broken Bones

So, today my brother broke his fingers - his middle and ring finger. The doctor described one of his fingers as a "Mallet Finger." I have no idea what this means but I most certainly have no intention to find out. It looked horrible. Now, you're probably wondering how this happened. The answer is that he simply fell. But, my brother's brain somehow didn't function correctly as he did so - the normal reaction is to place your hands flat out in front of you to attempt to slow down the fall or go down on your side; he fell with his fingers pointing straight down so the impact was concentrated on the tips of his hands which was painful and caused the fractures and dislocations. He didn't cry.

A fall is something that happens to everyone and bones will break if serious enough - I cracked a bit of my skull when I fell from a stool when I was around 4 years old. It was excruciating and I don't know how I survived it. Sometimes though, all we get is a graze on the knee.
Falls, no matter how big or small, always give us limitations in life but only for a while. How we regain our strength during recovery shows what that person truly is like. If they're able to get back up again, especially in front of people that saw it, it shows they're strong and are people that persevere. On the other hand, if someone falls and stays on the ground to wait for help, it shows that they're careful and still need that push to get up - it doesn't mean they're weak.

Falling isn't just physical - I'm sure most people would tell you that. There are times when people's confidence reach an all time low or they experience something that affects them mentally. This could be something small like finding out that a party is cancelled - like a graze on the knee, this pain would not last a long time and would quickly heal over. Sometimes it could be something more serious like breaking up in a relationship or finding one someone you love has died - this is the equivalent to breaking a bone. Falls like this mean readjusting your life so you can get through the pain like my brother with his broken fingers. It does heal eventually but takes a lot longer. Again, how you get through it will show who you are to everyone else. Crying in your room for a week (like I've done before) shows that you're passionate. This would be the approach most people have straight after an "emotion broken bone." However, in the long term, if you can face the world and smile, it shows you're strong. If you decide to stay in the dark, it shows your scared but no one can stay in there forever. Those people need a push but, again, it doesn't mean they're weak. Also, you will be rewarded.

The reward may not be big but it would be enough for you to say "Yes, I did it and I'm stronger than ever." For my brother, this was a McDonald's Chicken and Bacon Wrap for not crying.

Tuesday, 4 June 2013

Balance and Being Real

Firstly, I'd like to point out that I now have a Translate Bar on the right side of this blog page so, hopefully, people who can't really understand this like some of my Russian readers can read it easier. Okay, on with the actual blog post...

Most of the time I'm really stupid. Not comical or jokingly stupid but just genuinely stupid. There are times when I forget my name or times where I'll get so confused I just give up. This gives off the idea that I really am that unintelligent or that I'm faking it for the attention. I don't. I'm also pretty sure that I am not the only person that this has happened. There are billions of people on this planet so I can't be. In school, I do pretty well. I've achieved an "A" in all my subjects at some point (not boasting, just being factual) and I'm quite proud of that. At home, my genius shines through my drawings and designing but it's usually gone unnoticed. My parents like to focus on the negatives and would rather pay attention to things I do wrong in comparison to things I do right. There's a balance to everything I do. I don't plan on those things happening but I know that when something good happens, a bad thing follows after. The better the good thing, the worse the bad.

My point here is that everything has a balance and it's good to focus on the fact that reality contains both the positive and the negative. You can't just have one. There are days when you feel like a genius and days when you feel like every single word you say is wrong. I'm not saying that everyone should be pessimistic - just be realistic. Everyone has their goals in life and it's nice to have one but you can't forget about the drawbacks it might bring. One good example would be those people who wish to set up their own businesses one day. It's a nice thing to look forward to and try to achieve but you can't forget things like the costs, the time spent maintaining it and managing it and the fact that, if the business fails, your possessions may be repossessed to cover the costs. I learnt that in a Business Studies lesson.

It's good to remind yourself that achieving a goal is harder than you think but it's definitely worth the effort.

*Just a little bonus content - I had an English Language exam today with the theme being Food. I have never been so hungry in my life. I skipped breakfast because I was already late and the exam lasted for two hours. It involved describing the best meal you've had which I made up then exaggerated thanks to my stomach.

Sunday, 2 June 2013


Last Saturday was quite an embarassing day for me. It wasn't because of one big thing that happened but because of a lot of little things.

To start with, I was practising walking around in my new heels for prom for about 20 minutes before work and I tripped more than I expected to which wasn't fun but I got the hang of it in the end (and I was half asleep so give me some credit here). Once I got my feet back inside flat shoes, I had a really funny walk. I didn't know what happened - the best way to explain it would be to imagine that a ukele player, who was so good at his skill, was suddenly given a cello. That's what it felt like.

At work, I bumped into people and was constantly apologizing. I don't know if this was because the shop isn't that big or because it was just really packed. I stepped on a lady's toe and then bumped into her again about 2 minutes later. I felt really really ashamed of myself. I know I was being hasty - the clothes rack for women's tops was close to empty and every single time I went out to add some more clothes about double the amount was gone. I was actually quite relieved that I didn't have to change the mannequins that day. Seeing how clumsy I was being already, it was probable that if I did change them, at  least one of the mannequins would have fallen over and hit the display behind it.

After work I went to get a Subway. I expected to have money - I brought money for the bus, food and (thank goodness) my Subcard. I was expecting to get the £3 lunch offer at Subway since that's what normally happened whenever I got one. I always have a Turkey and Ham Sub or if I'm there before work, a breakfast sub. Anyway, I didn't get a £3 lunch and I was thinking about how much trouble I was in. Then, I gave the cashier my Subcard; I have never been more thankful for that thing. I had enough points for a free sub! This meant that I only paid for the Dr Pepper and didn't have to walk home which would have taken nearly half an hour. But, on the way back to bus stop a really bad thing happened. Really bad! I was walking and eating my sub and I didn't realize how much the Dr Pepper was shaking in my hand. When I opened it, the thing was like a fountain and I lost around a quarter of the drink.  I got soaked and this was right in the middle of the shopping centre and I was standing right next to a homeless man. That's right. He was begging and looked so hungry and I was there with a Dr Pepper volcano looking like I didn't care. I tried to laugh it off but next week, if I see the man again, I am going to give him a drink. That's a promise.

Later that day, my boyfriend was meant to come pick me up for a date and arrived nearly one hour late. During this time, my little sister dragged me out for a walk around and then started crying in front of people I didn't know because it was time to head back home. I was so worried. I didn't know what to do. When he did arrive, I was a bit annoyed that he was late but I shrugged it off. We had a barbeque with his family which was really fun and, I have to admit, I didn't want to leave.

When I got home, the people who live around us were having a drunk-fest outside one of the houses. When they saw him taking me home, they started singing "Hold My Hand" and then awed really loudly. My mum went out to join them. That was worse. I just wanted to sleep after that.

On the other hand, one good side to last Saturday was being greeted by 1000 pageviews on this blog. Thank you.